Friday Night Poetry: Classical Poetry

Here's a poem from classical times. I can't find decent information on Lucilius but he lived at least a couple of thousand years ago. His poem sounds like Falstaff or modern slapstick.


The Timid Veteran


Calpurnius, our favorite miles gloriosus,
Strayed into an art gallery, and there
Ran into a mural of the Trojan War.

He goggled, swooned, crying I yield

O comrade Trojans, belov'd of the War-God!

We brought him to.
He asked where he was wounded,
And insisted on paying ransom to the wall.

—Lucilius